I always thought of myself as wind, a free element that can not be pinned. Something as liberated as a doe eyed teen, growing so fast like grass, in all different shades of green. With hair as red as fire, which many people said they desire. I found myself puzzled at the beauty of a play, which was to be performed by my class at the end of may. I was casted as a peasant boy named oliver, with ragged clothes and a burlap collar. Many of the boys were upset about what the director wrote, “Jody” is the only one that can hit the high note. When show day came so did the nerves, everyone made fun of me and my boyish lack of curves. Then the lights brightened and the audience hushed, my face turned red and I started to blush. I took my first step out on stage, and instantly put myself into my characters cage. As the show continued and mistakes were made, we pushed through till the final lights went to fade. As I gathered my things back stage and said my goodbyes, I walked out the door’s towards the blue skies. To my amazement my family was waiting with flowers in hand, to congratulate me on a job well done, as well as the band. I learned that people will be mean, and try and keep you from achieving your dream. Get up and fight for what you want, become that person that has everything to flaunt. Don’t let anyone stop you even if they raise their voice, always keep going and make your own choice.
When I make a choice I always consider both sides, I have been this way since, well forever. I like to remain neutral, for me it’s a comfortable space. It is easier to observe both sides, than it is to fight for one with both feet in. Maybe I am just scared that the side I chose will be wrong. At the end of eighth grade I had to make a choice of what high school to attend in the fall. My house, on the district map, requires me to attend San Marcos High School. I was not about to attend a high school that so closely resembles a prison, the students might as well be called inmates. So I made a choice to apply for a transfer to Santa Barbara High School, and I am so glad I did. Then once it was approved, my counselors asked me what elective I wanted to take. Great, another choice for the girl that can never decide. I politely asked if I could have more time to decide, and thankfully they gave it to me. I then spent the next three weeks researching every possible elective I could take from art, to marine biology. After much deliberation I decided that I would stick with what I knew, Theatre. I know that theatre was going to be full of crazy kids, but it’s where I belonged. A place I could remain neutral and be asked to make a choice. I may not have been ready for that commitment but I glad i put both feet in and started fighting, and proved that I would work hard and show my dedication.
I woke up each morning with a goal in mind, prove them wrong, make it on company. It was an honor to be chosen to be on company and I wanted on. They went around california competing for prestigious dance awards and scholarships. I told myself that dancing is what was going to make me happy. To work long hours everyday and pour my heart into every move I did. I knew that if I put enough time and effort into it, I could make it. So I went to the studio everyday an hour before my class just to stretch, I credit these extra hours for my flexibility now. I wanted to make a name for myself. Since my mom owns the studio, I was known as “Astrid’s daughter,” and I wanted to just be Jody. So when company auditions came rolling around in the fall, I was first to sign up. While this might have seemed desperate at least I didn’t put a gold star sticker by my name like the others. I didn’t walk into the audition confident, but I was full of hope. I thought that my pure hope would work its magic and get me onto the team. I was right. I am not sure how it happened but I made Senior Company my freshman year. Because of my dedication I was awarded a solo, to the song “Hallelujah”. I credit this dance to my love of competition. The solo was so beautiful that even the judges teared up at the end. That season I put everything into my dance, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. I may have been young and naive, but that season I never lost.
Everyone puts so much pressure of finding out who they are during high school. My freshman year I had no idea, but by my sophomore year I was on my way to find out. Sophomore year was in interesting year to say the least. I was taking my first AP classes and had made a new best friend who was not exactly good for me. We became friends through mutual friends, he was new to the school and I thought that the least I could do was show him around. Turns out we had every class together, which was great at the time but somewhat destructive for me in the long run. He was the type of friend that demand your attention, 24/7. I remember waking up to my phone ringing at 3AM because he decided it was a good time to tell me about all his problems. Our conversations were always one sided, he would talk and I would listen. I have always been the listener in conversations but with him I never even got a chance to be anything else. He liked to be wild, and I didn’t. He was one of those kids that grew up too fast and was always trying to drag me along on some crazy adventure. Then I thought that if I told him secretes it would keep us closer, and keep the friendship normal. I was wrong. He told my secrets to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen. I felt broken and lost, and everyone knew it because of him. I still resent him for the way he made me feel. I am still afraid to talk to friends in times of need, because part of me says they will tell everyone and make me look like a fool, just like he did. Then it got to the point that I hated coming to school, because in every class I would see him. He would always come up with some snarky comment on my outfit or hair just to remind me that I wasn’t good enough. Then as the end of the year came he decided to do the most dramatic thing he could think of, move to LA to pursue his dreams of becoming famous. As everyone said their goodbye’s to him and told him how much he will be missed. I sat their quietly as I did our whole friendship. I felt bad to think of how amazing it will be without him in my life, but it’s not like I was going to tell him how I felt, not again. I still remember his last words to me, “don’t worry I won’t forget about you Jody.” All of me wanted him to forget me. To finally let me figure out myself rather than him telling me who I was. I wanted to move on from the drama and pain, and find something that would motivate me. Something like love.
Everyone dreams of finding love. My dream came true on March 1st, 2014. As I was laying in my bed on a sunday evening I decided to scroll through Instagram for a bit. As I was looking through my photo feed I came across a photo taken by an old friend named Anneka, who now attends Dos Pueblos High School. Anneka and I used to be inseparable, practically joined at the hip. That was until she decided that my friendship wasn’t goodenough and moved on. I was always bitter about that situation and how she could just get up and leave a friend like that. As I thought of our past, my finger accidentally clicked the “who liked this photo button”. The first name on the list was a boy named Cole, I had always liked that name so I thought why not see who this guy is. As I looked through his profile, I decided that it would be worth it for me to follow him. As soon as I clicked the follow button, I got a notification saying he had instantly followed me back. Then we started talking, first through instagram and then he finally asked for my number. We texted nonstop, while I am sure my parents hated it due to the large phone bill, I was happy. The more and more we got to know each other, the more we found out we had in common. Then he asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him. At that point I felt as if we were already dating for years. Our first date was set for the 14th of march, a friday night. We meet in front of the apple store, and walked all the way down to the Harbor, hand and hand the whole walk of course. Then on March 26th, he came over to my house, flowers in hand, and officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Cole and I have had some crazy adventures from getting our money stolen by a reggae singer in Venice Beach, to almost setting our cabin in Washington on fire. I wouldn’t trade what we have for the world. One of the best features of our relationship is how good we are about being around each other. I spend so much of my time with him, I almost consider us one person. I consider myself lucky to have found someone who completes me at such a young age. I love his laugh, smile, humor, and his endless amount of romantic creativity.