My life in 5 parts

Creativity

I always thought of myself as wind, a free element that can not be pinned. Something as liberated as a doe eyed teen, growing so fast like grass, in all different shades of green. With hair as red as fire, which many people said they desire. I found myself puzzled at the beauty of a play, which was to be performed by my class at the end of may. I was casted as a peasant boy named oliver, with ragged clothes and a burlap collar. Many of the boys were upset about what the director wrote, “Jody” is the only one that can hit the high note. When show day came so did the nerves, everyone made fun of me and my boyish lack of curves. Then the lights brightened and the audience hushed, my face turned red and I started to blush. I took my first step out on stage, and instantly put myself into my characters cage. As the show continued and mistakes were made, we pushed through till the final lights went to fade. As I gathered my things back stage and said my goodbyes, I walked out the door’s towards the blue skies. To my amazement my family was waiting with flowers in hand, to congratulate me on a job well done, as well as the band. I learned that people will be mean, and try and keep you from achieving your dream. Get up and fight for what you want, become that person that has everything to flaunt. Don’t let anyone stop you even if they raise their voice, always keep going and make your own choice.

Choices

When I make a choice I always consider both sides, I have been this way since, well forever. I like to remain neutral, for me it’s a comfortable space. It is easier to observe both sides, than it is to fight for one with both feet in. Maybe I am just scared that the side I chose will be wrong. At the end of eighth grade I had to make a choice of what high school to attend in the fall. My house, on the district map, requires me to attend San Marcos High School. I was not about to attend a high school that so closely resembles a prison, the students might as well be called inmates. So I made a choice to apply for a transfer to Santa Barbara High School, and I am so glad I did. Then once it was approved, my counselors asked me what elective I wanted to take. Great, another choice for the girl that can never decide. I politely asked if I could have more time to decide, and thankfully they gave it to me. I then spent the next three weeks researching every possible elective I could take from art, to marine biology. After much deliberation I decided that I would stick with what I knew, Theatre. I know that theatre was going to be full of crazy kids, but it’s where I belonged. A place I could remain neutral and be asked to make a choice. I may not have been ready for that commitment but I glad i put both feet in and started fighting, and proved that I would work hard and show my dedication.

Dedication

I woke up each morning with a goal in mind, prove them wrong, make it on company. It was an honor to be chosen to be on company and I wanted on. They went around california competing for prestigious dance awards and scholarships. I told myself that dancing is what was going to make me happy. To work long hours everyday and pour my heart into every move I did. I knew that if I put enough time and effort into it, I could make it. So I went to the studio everyday an hour before my class just to stretch, I credit these extra hours for my flexibility now. I wanted to make a name for myself. Since my mom owns the studio, I was known as “Astrid’s daughter,” and I wanted to just be Jody. So when company auditions came rolling around in the fall, I was first to sign up. While this might have seemed desperate at least I didn’t put a gold star sticker by my name like the others. I didn’t walk into the audition confident, but I was full of hope. I thought that my pure hope would work its magic and get me onto the team. I was right. I am not sure how it happened but I made Senior Company my freshman year. Because of my dedication I was awarded a solo, to the song “Hallelujah”. I credit this dance to my love of competition. The solo was so beautiful that even the judges teared up at the end. That season I put everything into my dance, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. I may have been young and naive, but that season I never lost.

Lost

Everyone puts so much pressure of finding out who they are during high school. My freshman year I had no idea, but by my sophomore year I was on my way to find out. Sophomore year was in interesting year to say the least. I was taking my first AP classes and had made a new best friend who was not exactly good for me. We became friends through mutual friends, he was new to the school and I thought that the least I could do was show him around. Turns out we had every class together, which was great at the time but somewhat destructive for me in the long run. He was the type of friend that demand your attention, 24/7. I remember waking up to my phone ringing at 3AM because he decided it was a good time to tell me about all his problems. Our conversations were always one sided, he would talk and I would listen. I have always been the listener in conversations but with him I never even got a chance to be anything else. He liked to be wild, and I didn’t. He was one of those kids that grew up too fast and was always trying to drag me along on some crazy adventure. Then I thought that if I told him secretes it would keep us closer, and keep the friendship normal. I was wrong. He told my secrets to anyone and everyone who was willing to listen. I felt broken and lost, and everyone knew it because of him. I still resent him for the way he made me feel. I am still afraid to talk to friends in times of need, because part of me says they will tell everyone and make me look like a fool, just like he did. Then it got to the point that I hated coming to school, because in every class I would see him. He would always come up with some snarky comment on my outfit or hair just to remind me that I wasn’t good enough. Then as the end of the year came he decided to do the most dramatic thing he could think of, move to LA to pursue his dreams of becoming famous. As everyone said their goodbye’s to him and told him how much he will be missed. I sat their quietly as I did our whole friendship. I felt bad to think of how amazing it will be without him in my life, but it’s not like I was going to tell him how I felt, not again. I still remember his last words to me, “don’t worry I won’t forget about you Jody.” All of me wanted him to forget me. To finally let me figure out myself rather than him telling me who I was. I wanted to move on from the drama and pain, and find something that would motivate me. Something like love.

Love

Everyone dreams of finding love. My dream came true on March 1st, 2014. As I was laying in my bed on a sunday evening I decided to scroll through Instagram for a bit. As I was looking through my photo feed I came across a photo taken by an old friend named Anneka, who now attends Dos Pueblos High School. Anneka and I used to be inseparable, practically joined at the hip. That was until she decided that my friendship wasn’t goodenough and moved on. I was always bitter about that situation and how she could just get up and leave a friend like that. As I thought of our past, my finger accidentally clicked the “who liked this photo button”. The first name on the list was a boy named Cole, I had always liked that name so I thought why not see who this guy is. As I looked through his profile, I decided that it would be worth it for me to follow him. As soon as I clicked the follow button, I got a notification saying he had instantly followed me back. Then we started talking, first through instagram and then he finally asked for my number. We texted nonstop, while I am sure my parents hated it due to the large phone bill, I was happy. The more and more we got to know each other, the more we found out we had in common. Then he asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him. At that point I felt as if we were already dating for years. Our first date was set for the 14th of march, a friday night. We meet in front of the apple store, and walked all the way down to the Harbor, hand and hand the whole walk of course. Then on March 26th, he came over to my house, flowers in hand, and officially asked me to be his girlfriend. Cole and I have had some crazy adventures from getting our money stolen by a reggae singer in Venice Beach, to almost setting our cabin in Washington on fire. I wouldn’t trade what we have for the world. One of the best features of our relationship is how good we are about being around each other. I spend so much of my time with him, I almost consider us one person. I consider myself lucky to have found someone who completes me at such a young age. I love his laugh, smile, humor, and his endless amount of romantic creativity.

XoXo Jojo

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Call me selfish

Lately I feel like a 4 year old in the sand box fighting over a toy, trying my very best to keep it to my self, and only my self. I know that sounds like the most selfish thing in the world but I can’t help it. I want him all to my self, and I know I should understand and let him be his own person but it really is hard. I am used to being the one and only priority, selfish again i know and I feel bad about it but its just so hard to instantly get used to. Our whole relationship is based on connection, physical and mental, which is one of my favorite things but when I can’t see him or even talk to him, it makes me go to the worst thoughts possible. I know I should just let him have his space and go live his own teenage life, but for me, it’s our life. Every thing I do revolves around us, and I won’t apologize for that because its who I am. I just care and love him so much. I am sorry if this post doesn’t make sense its just hard going from seeing him everyday after school, to seeing him only in the mornings for 3 hours maybe and then having to go through the whole day knowing I won’t see him again. I don’t want to suffocate him so I know I have to play it cool and act like its all okay but Something inside me is just so attached to him, it won’t let go. I never want to let go. I know this sounds corny and cliche but this boy, I swear he is the one. I guess I just need to relax and take a couple deep breathes. Take a step back and relies how truly lucky I am.

XOXO Jojo

Daily ups and downs

Today felt like a literal life roller coaster, I woke up happy, got super upset, then happy, then upset, and ultimately happy. My day started off with an early wake up call because I had plans with my best friend grace. We were supposed to get it on the 4th of july because we do every year but it was way to busy so we just postponed it. So I picked her up and we drove to shoreline cafe, a super cute and cheap breakfast and lunch cafe on the beach in santa barbara. Turns out they don’t open till 10 and I had dance at 11 so we decided to be uber productive and get all our forms turned in for our SBCC class in the fall. As soon as we got to SBCC I thought it would be fine if I left a note on my car saying, “Just dropping of papers, be right back” but no. The jerk parking attendant gave me my first $40 freaking dollar parking ticket. I was so upset I honestly felt like calling it a day and crawling up into a ball. Then I released my day had actually just begun. I then drove my friend home and drove to dance. I had solo practice with Bella, my amazing new teacher for nationals because oh yeah nationals in in like a week and a half. I am terrified yet super excited. After 2 hours with Bella, we drove to crush cakes this amazing cafe and had lunch together talking about next year and all she has planned for me. Then I rushed back to take the Summer Dance Intensive offered at the studio, we worked out a lot and now my body hates me haha. Then I went to go pick up my boyfriend fem football practice. He was starving so we stopped at subway (eat freshhhh) and went back to his house. We played Madden 14 which is a xbox video game that we both love. It was so fun just hanging out with him as always. He just always knows how to hold me when I’m upset or cheer me up. He knows as soon as he tags me and sprints in the other direction i can’t help my self and I have to chase him. Its always been our thing to keep our relationship real but light and full of laughter. Its one of my favorite things. Anyways that was my roller coaster monday for you. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you so much for reading

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XOXO Jojo

Our own kind of Fireworks

Yesterday was the 4th of july, Americas birthday, a day of freedom and independence. While most years I go all out in red white and blue this year It was different. My boyfriend and I had planned to go up into the mountains and watch the fire works from a water tower with a perfect view. unfortunately there was some strange people their so we decided to find our own spot. We drove back down the unending curving road till we found the perfect turn out. We parked, layer down the seats and set up the blankets. It was so perfect, we started messing around as we always do and then my boyfriend said he “saw something in the bushes.” I though he was just messing around so I played it as a joke, then he ran to the bush to check it out. He looked as if he saw a ghost! He sprinted back to the car, closed all the doors and told me to book it out of there. We will never know what was in the bushed but I am glad we got out when we did. Sadly due to us leaving so quickly, we missed the majority of the fire works because we were driving down a very steep hill to get home. My boyfriend felt so bad but to be honest, I don’t need to see fireworks when every time we kiss I feel them inside me. Chessy i know but its true, we have been together for over 15 moths now and I still get butterflies every time he kisses me. We may not have seen the fireworks but we created our own.

How was your 4th of july? IMG_0864

Thanks for reading,

XOXO Jojo

Lets just escape?

Over Spring break I went to the beautiful Bainbridge Island for a week with my boyfriends family. From the second we touched down in SEA-TAC airport I loved it. I love how in Seattle everything has something to do with art. No matter where you look there is a painting of puzzling sculpture. As we go off the plane I got my first feel of the cold. It was about 50 degrees, maybe not that cold to you but for a Santa Barbara girl who doesn’t have seasons and the lowest temperature is about 70, It was cold! Then we picked up the rental car, a black, brand new, Chevy Tahoe. Once we got on the road I directed the family to the ferry port. We took the ferry from Seattle to Bainbridge Island. Once we arrived on the Island  we went into town to meet coles great aunt and uncle who were hosting us for the week. They were such incredible people so full of joy and happiness. Then we all went to this cute little dinner right by their condo in town. It was adorable! The whole dinner was built in a old train car cabin and the for was amazing. Then we drove to the house we would be staying in. A 1.2 million dollar home right on the Sandspit of Bainbridge Island. The home had a view of the ocean from every window, i never wanted to leave! The house had incredible paintings and decor all made out of wood. My favorite part would have to be the hot tub on their deck, overlooking the ocean and the mountains! The next day we went kayaking in the bay. When its low tide all the water rushes out leaving a massive island in the middle full of the most beautiful shells. We spent hours looking at all the sea life and collecting the most incredible shells. Then my boyfriend, being the incredible and intelligent man he is, taught me how to play chess. I always wanted to learn but never was taught. Cole and I probably played over 30 games, he won 29 of them but hey I still won once! The entire vacation was so relaxing I truly didn’t want to leave. My mom and cole’s mom loved it so much they started checking out homes to buy! We checked out this 5 bedroom house that we all fell in love with, but sadly we all released we still have to finish high school and 2 years of city college before our dream of moving up there could come true. We went to Seattle for the day and walked the city, it was amazing! We walked in this alley full of different unique shops. The famous fish place were they through the fish was there and the flower stands they had there, Oh my god, the flowers were so pretty I couldn’t believe it. Each bouquet was breath taking and my boyfriend bought me the most beautiful one! I love him so much, He always spoils me, and makes me laugh. Then we walked all around the town, I bought a new LuLu Lemon Jacket and some crazy good gourmet carmel corn! Then we rushed back to the ferry and headed back to the island. We visited the community pool one day that had a water slide, hot sub, steam room, sauna, lazy river and even a obstacle course! We all had so much fun. The last day of our vacations something a little crazy happened. First off cole’s twin sister Ciera and I were talking about getting our driving licenses and while in the midst of the conversation, we forgot we put a bagel in the oven to toast.. I have never seen such a burnt be gal, the whole thing was black and had shrunken half its size! Anyways after that cole and I were laying in this bed upstairs watching supernatural, and all of a sudden I smelled smoke… I was thinking that it was just let over from the bagel but then i saw something light up the living room, quite brightly if you ask me. I got up to look and I saw flames! I started yelling FIRE, FIRE! Everyone rushed out of their rooms sunning to the fire. We through a huge bucket of water on it and luckily it was put out. Turns out we left a box of matches on top of the fire place and because the fire place got so hot, the whole box of matched lit on fire! We were so lucky nothing burt and every one was okay. The next morning we left the house at 6:15 AM, just in time to see one last beautiful sun rise and we headed back to Seattle on the ferry. Then jumped on a plane and landed back in LAX. Now that I have been home for a few days, I miss it so much. I miss the peacefulness of it all. I can’t wait to go back. Here’s  a couple photos from my trip 🙂

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Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or comments let me know!

Thanks XOXO, Jojo

Happier and Happier

Have you ever been in such a good place in your life that you can’t help but smile, constantly? I know this might sound cheese but that how I feel right now! Tomorrow night is Winter Formal at my high school and I am so utterally excited. I already have my dress, heels and hair picked out. Oh and did I forget to mention my date? Cole of course haha! At our school Winter Formal is Girls as guys and so I asked cole to the dance last sunday. Basically I told him I had dance and he totally fell for it. I woke up at 6 AM made a huge poster and made french toast (His Favorite). Then I drove to the studio set it all up and even made a little breakfast picnic for us! He was soo surprised it was so cute! The first thing he said when he walked in was “wait so you don’t have dance?” haha! Of course he said yes and was super excited. Here’s a photo of how I asked him 🙂 image1

He makes me so happy. I just can’t even explain it!

New topic, dance is going really well for me this year. I have now finished and cleaned my solo for the year to the song “This is a mans world” and I get to compete it in less then a month! We are going to star bound dance competition in LA and the cast and crew of Dance Moms were there last year so fingers crossed they will be there again!

I hope you all have an amazing day! Thanks for reading. If you have any questions or comments let me know!

XOXO Jojo